Thursday, 11 September 2014

R U OK? I want to know...

A bit about my experience with depression...I struggled with prenatal anxiety and depression whilst I was pregnant. It felt like it came out of no where...I was crying for no reason, all I wanted to do was be in bed and any situation I didn't feel comfortable in (which became any situation that invoked people) I had anxiety attacks. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, I didn't feel like me, but I couldn't do anything to change it. I kept telling myself I'll come good. Just have a few "feel sorry for myself days" and I'll be alright. My partner at the time couldn't cope. He was the only one I wanted to let in and he couldn't cope which made me feel like I was a burden and I was making life too hard. I started to think "if only I had more time (before the baby) to get better". I didn't tell anyone what I was going through. I felt guilty for having such negative thoughts. I would often cry in the bathroom, or in my car, but made sure I was fresh faced for people at work and often cancelled plans with friends so they didn't see this sad depressing person. I would tell them some story about being tired from pregnancy, which was not true, but it was a plausible excuse. I finally asked for help as I couldn't deal with it on my own any longer and I didn't want my husband at the time to suffer. Now I didn't talk my friends straight away, but I went to my doctor who I trusted and just said "fix me" with her advice I got there...I followed her instructions, and even though I went through another life changing ordeal (something I'll leave for another time), I got better...felt stronger and began to realise it's ok to fall down sometimes, but don't ever be afraid to ask for help or understanding. And if you see someone you care about not acting themselves don't be afraid to ask if they are ok?! I didn't want to talk about it atthe  time but being around my close friends, and those who did care, definitely made a huge difference. 

R U OK? Is a great intiative that we all should get involved in. Especially when we have seen so many media personalities we have seen as strong and successful become victim to such a negative state of mind. We often think "they have the dream life...what could they be depressed about?" It's something you can't explain, or completely understand, whether you have suffered through it or not. It's not not a whole lot anyone can do to "fix it" but support is definitely a treatment towards a cure.

There is a quote that always resonates with me, and I think we should all consider it from time to time in any situation...

Don't be afraid to show someone you care by simply asking R U OK?...xo

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